I was taking my daily perusal through CNN.com this morning and saw an article about why possible engineers are getting English degrees. Oh! Wonderful, maybe this will say how awesome English is!, I thought with childlike flights of fancy. My dreams quickly faded into the nether region where unrealized dreams go as I read through the entire five pages of the article. All in all, the article was about how people are dropping out of hard majors and switching to easier ones. That is correct, my friends, enemies, and friendemies, people are switching from the HARD degree programs and into the EASY ones.
Now, I am not going to downplay the sciences. It takes tremendous skill, willpower, and intelligence to make it through any of the sciences, maths, etc. When a person graduates with a degree in engineering, they should be proud that all the hard work they did will pay off. The problem I have is the assumption that English is not a hard degree to get. As a graduate of Buffalo State University with my B.A. in English Literature, I must humbly disagree with the "easy" label given to my major.
On the surface, you can see why people would say that English is not a hard major. You have no math, no sciences, no history, no physical requirements what-so-ever, and so on. While we aren't blasting out multi-line equations or creating medicines that will cure whatever the cast of the Jersey Shore is infected with, we are learning to be articulate, well read, researchers, and yes, scholars in the history of the world. How are you scholars in history, don't you just sit in the house and read books?! First, books require no power source, so we can take them *gasp* outside! Secondly, history is written as well as passed down orally or through artifacts. It takes a command of language, any language, to tell the tale of a people in a way that makes people think you know what you're talking about. Research needs to be done to study history, which includes diving through book after book. Thirdly, there is a little thing, very hard to know, since only those who have taken the test of one thousand swords can learn about... books have been written longer than any one person has been alive.
With the study of Literature, a student delves into history through those such as Ernest Hemingway, William Shakespeare, William Beckford, Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, Henry Fielding, Miguel De Cervantes, and Ludovico Ariosto, just to name a few. We take in history at a personal level, where many of these writers have written with certain aspects of current (for them) society influencing them. History, life, and art blend in the words each puts to the page. Morality and ethics are explored, dissected, and reimagined. Take away literature from the history of man, just as if you took away mathematics, and the world would be drastically different. Engineering, Mathematics, the Sciences, English, Art, Music, and all the other degrees are needed in some aspect and no one is more important than the other. Before you rip apart another degree program as being less important than yours, take a moment and think before you speak. That is something I wish that the reporter from CNN.com did before publishing their article.
Showing posts with label Commentary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Commentary. Show all posts
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Commentary: Infection Creative Process Thanks
Well, Infection has finally finished and the long, grueling process of on-the-spot storytelling has come out quite well, I believe. All in all, it was an entertaining experience for me and I sincerely hope it was for all my readers as well. As not to be selfish and saying it was all because of me, I would like to give a small thanks to the people who have supported this (and myself):
As always, feel free to share my work (with due credit) with your friends and if there is anything you would like to see, let me know and I will do my best to provide! Again, I give the biggest thanks to you all! Enjoy the writings and best to you on your literary travels!
B
- Miss T__. For all her support through the process and sharing my life <3.
- Miss Destructo of Destructo Deviations For her support of my writing and her years of amazing friendship.
- Monicawesome of the youtube sensation The Basically Awesome Show for her friendship and time spent being a muse for my writings =)
- and especially my readers. Without you, I wouldn't have a way of spreading my work to the public. Because of you, I have seen a jump in traffic and I tip my hat to you.
As always, feel free to share my work (with due credit) with your friends and if there is anything you would like to see, let me know and I will do my best to provide! Again, I give the biggest thanks to you all! Enjoy the writings and best to you on your literary travels!
B
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Commentary: The Unfriendly (To Some) Skies
In the wake of renowned film director and movie star Kevin Smith being ejected from his seat on a Southwest Airlines flight out of from Oakland, California due to "safety" issues, i.e. his weight, this shows that something is terribly amiss in the airlines today. With the airlines packing people like sardines in seats that would make an anorexic supermodel uncomfortable, the plus-sized American, and let's be honest, the country is overweight in all, airlines have fallen behind the times, but the people paying the price are the consumers who need to fly to reach their destinations.
With the policy that is currently in place on most, if not all, airlines, has the larger American paying the price in embarrassment, humiliation, and cold, hard cash. When an extremely popular persona like Kevin Smith, who was able to put his seat belt on without an extender and had both armrests down, is removed in one of the most humiliated ways from a plane in the manner he was, this shows how the airlines view people who don't fit in their ideal of who they want to fly. Apparently this is not about customer service anymore. This is about how the large people are viewed by people who have a position of power over them.
The same thing happened to yours truly a few years back, but this time it was on Delta. I was seated in my seat, which was in the aisle seat of the middle section (a 3-3-3 plane setup), belt on and arms down. A young man, who was a member of some traveling high school sports team sat in the middle seat, waited five minutes, then stood up and walked away. Moments later, a attendant came over and told me that the man next to me complained and they wished me to leave the plane. I sat there, stupified, the man sat down, he was fine, and it was not like I was flowing in his seat. The woman who was sitting on the other side of him complained, saying that he sat in there perfectly fine, but to no avail. I was told to get my bag, which was a few aisles away, and leave the plane. I stood up, my face flaming cause I was embarrassed to the nth degree. I left the plane and they rebooked me on another flight, but I was seriously livid with the airline. I sent them an e-mail because they would not talk to me in person, nor over the phone, and received a response saying that "sorry it happened, but it was policy" and the rest was more of a giant middle finger to me, treating me less like a paying customer and a human, and more like someone who deserved no type of respectful treatment.
The way the airlines treat people is horrendous and I hope that no one has to deal with what Kevin Smith, myself, and more than likely hundreds of other overweight people have dealt with from airlines who have a policy which, in this country, is obsolete. The sardine cans with wings need to be adjusted for the trending weight of the nation. I am not saying that being overweight is a good thing, but it is something that needs to treated with respect and dignity to the person. Not everyone is going to be a model, nor a prototypical tv show character. People come in all different shapes and sizes, each one needs to be treated with the same amount of respect. Personally? I currently fly Airtran business class. I have never flown Delta since their treatment of me, and I have added Southwestern to my list of airlines who span the unfriendly skies.
With the policy that is currently in place on most, if not all, airlines, has the larger American paying the price in embarrassment, humiliation, and cold, hard cash. When an extremely popular persona like Kevin Smith, who was able to put his seat belt on without an extender and had both armrests down, is removed in one of the most humiliated ways from a plane in the manner he was, this shows how the airlines view people who don't fit in their ideal of who they want to fly. Apparently this is not about customer service anymore. This is about how the large people are viewed by people who have a position of power over them.
The same thing happened to yours truly a few years back, but this time it was on Delta. I was seated in my seat, which was in the aisle seat of the middle section (a 3-3-3 plane setup), belt on and arms down. A young man, who was a member of some traveling high school sports team sat in the middle seat, waited five minutes, then stood up and walked away. Moments later, a attendant came over and told me that the man next to me complained and they wished me to leave the plane. I sat there, stupified, the man sat down, he was fine, and it was not like I was flowing in his seat. The woman who was sitting on the other side of him complained, saying that he sat in there perfectly fine, but to no avail. I was told to get my bag, which was a few aisles away, and leave the plane. I stood up, my face flaming cause I was embarrassed to the nth degree. I left the plane and they rebooked me on another flight, but I was seriously livid with the airline. I sent them an e-mail because they would not talk to me in person, nor over the phone, and received a response saying that "sorry it happened, but it was policy" and the rest was more of a giant middle finger to me, treating me less like a paying customer and a human, and more like someone who deserved no type of respectful treatment.
The way the airlines treat people is horrendous and I hope that no one has to deal with what Kevin Smith, myself, and more than likely hundreds of other overweight people have dealt with from airlines who have a policy which, in this country, is obsolete. The sardine cans with wings need to be adjusted for the trending weight of the nation. I am not saying that being overweight is a good thing, but it is something that needs to treated with respect and dignity to the person. Not everyone is going to be a model, nor a prototypical tv show character. People come in all different shapes and sizes, each one needs to be treated with the same amount of respect. Personally? I currently fly Airtran business class. I have never flown Delta since their treatment of me, and I have added Southwestern to my list of airlines who span the unfriendly skies.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Commentary: To Expand Or Not To Expand...
I have received a lot of feedback suggesting I expand a few of my Moments in Time to full fledged short stories. I appreciate the suggestion and the support, also the fact that enough people like reading my stories enough to want me to expand on them, I am a little reluctant to do so. This is a two-fold issue with losing the moniker of being part of my Moment in Time series and no longer having them open to "what happens next?! I bet..." questioning. Not that I wouldn't like to expand on a few of my writings, but certain ones I feel are complete as is. I will most likely expand on a few in time, but I want to flesh out the scenario before I start tackling expansions.
In other news, I had trouble writing today's Moment in Time. Not because of any images that it may or may not have portrayed, but because my mood has been decidedly less on the dark side of late. I can blame the lovely Miss T__, but she is not the cause of it. Well, she is to a point, but the blame rests squarely on me. When I am happy with a situation, especially romantically, it shows in my writing and make no doubts about it, Miss T__ makes me happier than I feel I ought to be. It took more planning for this one and a kick in the pants from her (I was literally bullied into not using her as my muse!) to get this one off the ground. I am proud of how it turned out and it is definitely on the block to be expanded, but not before its time... though with Miss T__ as a bully pushing me, it might happen sooner! Don't get me wrong when I talk about her bullying me, she knows that I mean it in jest. She is always pushing me to do more, which I thank her for.
It's been nearing a month since I last seen her due to scheduling conflicts, but I love her all the same. It's always difficult to be separated from the ones we care about for a long period of time, but when there is nothing you can do, you grin and bear it. Thankfully the internet alleviates some of the lonesomeness and lets me at least talk to her. I know, who wants a complete commentary of me saying how happy I am to be with Miss T__, right? Okay, okay.
I have a few projects in the wings, least of all is expanding on a few Moments. I have been thinking about expanding a few of my older works, but would love suggestions on ones that you feel I should expand on. I also do request work, provided that you provide a basic premise you would like followed. I will not, though, do homework for you. If you have to write some short creative writing for a class, pick up a pen and write it yourself. There is a joy that comes from writing something yourself that I refuse to deprive you of. As always, my awesome readers, have a great day and may your pen never run out of ink!
B
In other news, I had trouble writing today's Moment in Time. Not because of any images that it may or may not have portrayed, but because my mood has been decidedly less on the dark side of late. I can blame the lovely Miss T__, but she is not the cause of it. Well, she is to a point, but the blame rests squarely on me. When I am happy with a situation, especially romantically, it shows in my writing and make no doubts about it, Miss T__ makes me happier than I feel I ought to be. It took more planning for this one and a kick in the pants from her (I was literally bullied into not using her as my muse!) to get this one off the ground. I am proud of how it turned out and it is definitely on the block to be expanded, but not before its time... though with Miss T__ as a bully pushing me, it might happen sooner! Don't get me wrong when I talk about her bullying me, she knows that I mean it in jest. She is always pushing me to do more, which I thank her for.
It's been nearing a month since I last seen her due to scheduling conflicts, but I love her all the same. It's always difficult to be separated from the ones we care about for a long period of time, but when there is nothing you can do, you grin and bear it. Thankfully the internet alleviates some of the lonesomeness and lets me at least talk to her. I know, who wants a complete commentary of me saying how happy I am to be with Miss T__, right? Okay, okay.
I have a few projects in the wings, least of all is expanding on a few Moments. I have been thinking about expanding a few of my older works, but would love suggestions on ones that you feel I should expand on. I also do request work, provided that you provide a basic premise you would like followed. I will not, though, do homework for you. If you have to write some short creative writing for a class, pick up a pen and write it yourself. There is a joy that comes from writing something yourself that I refuse to deprive you of. As always, my awesome readers, have a great day and may your pen never run out of ink!
B
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Commentary: New Year
2010 is finally upon us and today I thought I would glance back to '09, and briefly look froward into this new year. Quite the roller coaster ride 2009 was. Starting the year in Purchase, NY, ending in Elma, NY, I never thought I would see that. Switching majors from Psychology to English was another big jump in my life. Writing had always been a hobby until the point where I suddenly woke up and decided that I wanted to devote my life completely to the written word.
My relationship with Sarah ended towards the end of the year. I wish her no ill will and hope for the best in her life. It's strange how you can go from seeing a future ahead to suddenly realizing that this isn't what you truly wanted. Jump to 2010 with me. I am an English major at Buffalo State College in Buffalo, NY, I have a 2003 Chevy Malibu, a great group of friends, and the love of my life T__. I will use this description of her mostly because she is not one to adore the limelight like I do (I will take any and all praise or criticism you will give!), plus many great writers have taken to naming people as such. She knows who she is, that's what is important. She is the reason behind many of the relationship/love-centric writing I have put up lately. What's important, she makes me happy and in 2010, I pray I am able to make her feel even a fraction as happy as what she makes me.
In 2010, I hope to land an internship at a publishing house here in Buffalo, hopefully get published myself, get my new website designed where a group of the very talented people I know can showcase their works, love deeply, and live completely. I hope to provide some literary enjoyment for all of you readers and I am deeply honored you take the time to read my works. I hope you all have a fantastic 2010 and beyond...
Brian Hinckley
Aka- Sonic Boom
My relationship with Sarah ended towards the end of the year. I wish her no ill will and hope for the best in her life. It's strange how you can go from seeing a future ahead to suddenly realizing that this isn't what you truly wanted. Jump to 2010 with me. I am an English major at Buffalo State College in Buffalo, NY, I have a 2003 Chevy Malibu, a great group of friends, and the love of my life T__. I will use this description of her mostly because she is not one to adore the limelight like I do (I will take any and all praise or criticism you will give!), plus many great writers have taken to naming people as such. She knows who she is, that's what is important. She is the reason behind many of the relationship/love-centric writing I have put up lately. What's important, she makes me happy and in 2010, I pray I am able to make her feel even a fraction as happy as what she makes me.
In 2010, I hope to land an internship at a publishing house here in Buffalo, hopefully get published myself, get my new website designed where a group of the very talented people I know can showcase their works, love deeply, and live completely. I hope to provide some literary enjoyment for all of you readers and I am deeply honored you take the time to read my works. I hope you all have a fantastic 2010 and beyond...
Brian Hinckley
Aka- Sonic Boom
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Commentary: And You Can Quote Me On That!
Just a small collection of a few of my favorite quotes. Enjoy!
"I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions." ~James Michener
"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." ~Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
"True evil entered the world not with the first sin, nor even with the first murder. It came when an otherwise decent man first looked at a sinner, and at a guiltless stranger with a similar appearance... and punished both of them."
"Be obscure clearly." ~E.B. White
“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”
"I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions." ~James Michener
"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." ~Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
"True evil entered the world not with the first sin, nor even with the first murder. It came when an otherwise decent man first looked at a sinner, and at a guiltless stranger with a similar appearance... and punished both of them."
"Be obscure clearly." ~E.B. White
“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”
Friday, December 25, 2009
Commentary: Seasons Greetings!
Hey everyone, I just want to say Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to all my readers! I hope you have a great time, full of fun and loving! I even made a video for you to enjoy! Again, happy holidays and thank you for making this year a blast and here is to more fun and writing next year!
Sonic Boom aka Brian Hinckley
EDIT:: I know I have a typing error, I was in a rush to get this up before family obligations occurred!
Sonic Boom aka Brian Hinckley
EDIT:: I know I have a typing error, I was in a rush to get this up before family obligations occurred!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Commentary: Love vs. Infatuation
I was using Firefox add-on, StumbleUpon, and came across this gem. Full credit is given at the bottom of the article. I did not write this, only found it to be very true.
Infatuation is instant desire,
one set of glands calling to another.
Love is friendship that has caught fire.
It takes root and grows,
one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity.
You are excited and eager,but not genuinely happy.
There are nagging doubts,unanswered questions,
little bits pieces about your beloved
that you would just as soon examine too closely.
It might spoil the dream.
Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection.
It is real.It gives you strength and grows beyond you,to bolster your beloved.
You are warmed by his presence,even when he is away.
Miles do not separate you. You want him near.But near or far,
you know he is yours and you can wait.
Infatuation says,"We must get married right away.
I can't risk losing him."
Love says, "Be patient.He is yours. Plan your future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement.Whenever you are in one another's company you are hoping it will end in intimacy.
Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's cheating.
Sometimes you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure, and unthreatened.He feels your trust and it makes him even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you'll regret later,but love never will.
Love lifts you up.It makes you look up.It makes you think up.It makes you a better person than you were before.
Found on: http://loveinfac.rediffblogs.com/
Infatuation is instant desire,
one set of glands calling to another.
Love is friendship that has caught fire.
It takes root and grows,
one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity.
You are excited and eager,but not genuinely happy.
There are nagging doubts,unanswered questions,
little bits pieces about your beloved
that you would just as soon examine too closely.
It might spoil the dream.
Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection.
It is real.It gives you strength and grows beyond you,to bolster your beloved.
You are warmed by his presence,even when he is away.
Miles do not separate you. You want him near.But near or far,
you know he is yours and you can wait.
Infatuation says,"We must get married right away.
I can't risk losing him."
Love says, "Be patient.He is yours. Plan your future with confidence."
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement.Whenever you are in one another's company you are hoping it will end in intimacy.
Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's cheating.
Sometimes you check.
Love means trust. You are calm, secure, and unthreatened.He feels your trust and it makes him even more trustworthy.
Infatuation might lead you to do things you'll regret later,but love never will.
Love lifts you up.It makes you look up.It makes you think up.It makes you a better person than you were before.
Found on: http://loveinfac.rediffblogs.com/
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Commentary: Lovesick Lovefool (Part 2)
Welcome to part two of the Lovesick Lovefool commentary and if you have stuck around for this long, you have read about the end of a relationship, but you ask yourself, "Sonic, what about the other end of the spectrum, the birth of a new relationship?" Well, worry yourselves not, perusers of the internet, I will be going into it today. Unlike the death of a relationship, the start of one is generally painless, but there are times where pain comes in the baggage from one or both of the entrants into this union. Sit back and grab a drink (as always, I suggest a nice medium blend coffee) and delve deep into the birth of a relationship, and how to maintain it during those heady few months.
Young love, ahh, we all remember it well. Oh, I'm not talking love that was once had in those dim and distant days when you were barely grown into your body. I'm speaking of the love that has just entered your life. The love that suddenly has you spinning like a top. The love that has you singing in the shower, the streets, classrooms, and workplaces. You got it, that love. You found the person who makes you feel. That's it, they make you feel in a way you haven't felt about another person. They make you feel like you could conquer the world with only their minimal encouragement. These are the best days you can imagine. You're not laying down any rules on each other as of yet, you both just genuinely take pleasure in each others company and making each other happy. . . plus all the benefits of those in a serious relationship. After the honeymoon days are done, what then? It's possible that those feelings you had early on start to flag and the little things that your partner does begins to irritate you. We all have those experiences, but they don't spell the end of a strong-lasting couple in the making.
Understanding that these moments will happen is key. Understanding in itself is key. Things wont stay the same, but they don't have to get worse, though it takes effort to turn a negative into a positive. Keeping things from growing stagnant is important because you realize that the same routine just won't cut it now that you are in a serious relationship. It could be a simple activity as you use to go out for drinks on Friday night, now you do a different activity. Maybe a dinner and movie. Maybe a weekend trip together to someplace neither of you have been. These small concessions to the future of your relationship are sometimes necessary and you must be willing to bend. You will get frustrated and you will get upset, but it is up to you how you decide to handle them and handling them starts with understanding them.
Many fine relationship experts will tell you that sending gifts to your loved one on the spur of the moment is a good thing to strengthen your relationship. This is not necessarily bad advice, but I would take it one step further. Hypothetically, if you showed up at home or at your significant others residence one day, did all the hey-how-are-you activities, told them to grab a jacket and go driving with you, but you take them not only on a little drive, but lets say you arranged a picnic for the two of you way out in the hills. This type of activity doesn't break the bank, it doesn't put pressure on your partner if they received a ring or some trinket to like it. These small personal touches make a huge difference no matter the gender of your partner. There has been times I have taken my partner on car rides across state lines just to take them to a day concert of a band I knew they loved, but never thought they would see. It was simple, a tank of gas, tickets to a country fair, and food while we were there. Important notice, though, don't do things like this with the expectance to get anything in return. If you do things for your loved one with the expectation to be reciprocated, you might not be in the right relationship for you (depends on your partner, I would guess).
I am in no way an expert on relationships and this bit of commentary is in no way a definitive article on what you should or should not do. These are just a few things I have done in my life that worked well to help pass the months where the relationship starts to lose that "new car" scent. Coming out of a long term relationship myself, I have experienced both sides of this two part commentary. I have been so deep in love, done the little things that need to be done to keep a relationship strong, but towards the end, I began to realize the toxicity and how it was affecting me, choosing to severe the diseased limb before it spread to the roots and became too late. I hope everyone who reads this will never go through heartbreak, but sadly many of us have gone through it already, are going through it, or will be going through it at some point in their lives. All I can offer is support and the knowledge that things do look darkest just before the dawn, but the dawn is coming. Just keep waiting for it and if you haven't found that someone special, you will, and you will understand each word that I have put down a different way then than you do right now.
Young love, ahh, we all remember it well. Oh, I'm not talking love that was once had in those dim and distant days when you were barely grown into your body. I'm speaking of the love that has just entered your life. The love that suddenly has you spinning like a top. The love that has you singing in the shower, the streets, classrooms, and workplaces. You got it, that love. You found the person who makes you feel. That's it, they make you feel in a way you haven't felt about another person. They make you feel like you could conquer the world with only their minimal encouragement. These are the best days you can imagine. You're not laying down any rules on each other as of yet, you both just genuinely take pleasure in each others company and making each other happy. . . plus all the benefits of those in a serious relationship. After the honeymoon days are done, what then? It's possible that those feelings you had early on start to flag and the little things that your partner does begins to irritate you. We all have those experiences, but they don't spell the end of a strong-lasting couple in the making.
Understanding that these moments will happen is key. Understanding in itself is key. Things wont stay the same, but they don't have to get worse, though it takes effort to turn a negative into a positive. Keeping things from growing stagnant is important because you realize that the same routine just won't cut it now that you are in a serious relationship. It could be a simple activity as you use to go out for drinks on Friday night, now you do a different activity. Maybe a dinner and movie. Maybe a weekend trip together to someplace neither of you have been. These small concessions to the future of your relationship are sometimes necessary and you must be willing to bend. You will get frustrated and you will get upset, but it is up to you how you decide to handle them and handling them starts with understanding them.
Many fine relationship experts will tell you that sending gifts to your loved one on the spur of the moment is a good thing to strengthen your relationship. This is not necessarily bad advice, but I would take it one step further. Hypothetically, if you showed up at home or at your significant others residence one day, did all the hey-how-are-you activities, told them to grab a jacket and go driving with you, but you take them not only on a little drive, but lets say you arranged a picnic for the two of you way out in the hills. This type of activity doesn't break the bank, it doesn't put pressure on your partner if they received a ring or some trinket to like it. These small personal touches make a huge difference no matter the gender of your partner. There has been times I have taken my partner on car rides across state lines just to take them to a day concert of a band I knew they loved, but never thought they would see. It was simple, a tank of gas, tickets to a country fair, and food while we were there. Important notice, though, don't do things like this with the expectance to get anything in return. If you do things for your loved one with the expectation to be reciprocated, you might not be in the right relationship for you (depends on your partner, I would guess).
I am in no way an expert on relationships and this bit of commentary is in no way a definitive article on what you should or should not do. These are just a few things I have done in my life that worked well to help pass the months where the relationship starts to lose that "new car" scent. Coming out of a long term relationship myself, I have experienced both sides of this two part commentary. I have been so deep in love, done the little things that need to be done to keep a relationship strong, but towards the end, I began to realize the toxicity and how it was affecting me, choosing to severe the diseased limb before it spread to the roots and became too late. I hope everyone who reads this will never go through heartbreak, but sadly many of us have gone through it already, are going through it, or will be going through it at some point in their lives. All I can offer is support and the knowledge that things do look darkest just before the dawn, but the dawn is coming. Just keep waiting for it and if you haven't found that someone special, you will, and you will understand each word that I have put down a different way then than you do right now.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Commentary: Lovesick Lovefool
Caring for a person can lead people in strange directions. It's a drug that most of the world population is addicted to. Be it attraction to another person, money, power, objects, or a feeling. We are all lovestruck in some sense of the word. Even though we are lovestruck, we are sometimes in situations where we feel prevented from showing, or telling, the world of our love. Not that being in love in one of those above ways is wrong, but because we feel like we are trapped. The truth is that we are trapped, but only by ourselves.
Imagine, if you will, you are married to a person, things haven't been smooth all the years you have been together, but you go through the motions anyway, just because you are afraid of hurting them and being alone. You meet someone through work or just a random situation. One meeting turns to two, then to four, then to multiple times a week. This person understands you, doesn't judge you, doesn't pressure you. This person makes you feel the way you know the person you're married to should be making you feel. You tried to get it through to your husband/wife that you're not happy, and it seems to work for a week or so, but then the cold shoulder only returns. What do you do? Do you attempt to take a chance? Do you make the decision to go on your own (if childless) and end the marriage that was made only for the sake that you thought you could do no better? Is what you feel real or are you just a lovesick lovefool?
These are all important questions and I am not going to answer them for you, because I can't. It is up to the person who, sadly, is stuck in the middle of two loves - one quickly rising and the other nothing but a flicker. No one wants to hurt another person intentional, or at the very least shouldn't want to, but hurting happens. Too many people stay in relationships, marriage/engagement/dating/etc., just because they do not want to hurt the person they are with and feel like that if they do end it, they won't be strong enough to stay away or stay alone. It's a tough choice, but toxicity in relationships is unfortunately not uncommon. When one prospers, the other suffers. Relationships are about a careful balance, from friendship all the way up through marriage, balance is key.
Why is balance an important aspect in a relationship? The answer is simple. Ask yourself, if I do this, it would make me happy, but if I do it it will make my partner unhappy, would I still do it? In menial actions, many people would say yes. Oh, if I go golfing today and my partner doesn't want me to because they want to go pick out a new couch we won't even buy, they will just get over it. Many people see the situation this way, but what if it is a more important action. What if it involves uprooting your lives and making your partner miserable? Do you still do it and make them just 'deal' with it? That is a question you need to ask yourself. What if they did it to you? Would you feel the same way if you were told to just 'deal' with it? Of course you wouldn't. Balance. The good comes with the bad, but concessions need to be made, and if one side won't bend, maybe the only right choice is to break (it off).
I'm not advocating ending of relationships over anything, but ending a situation before it advances to the point where it is impossible to end it is an important decision to make. Be sure in your choices. Once they are made, they are made, someone will be hurt if the choice involves ending something. Love is a grand thing and you can be deep in a current relationship when you find that the love you thought you had wasn't what you wanted, but suddenly it comes out of nowhere and sends you ass over tea kettle. This is going to be a two-part article, with part two dealing with the budding romance. Got to end the doom and gloom of dying romances as quickly as possible, eh?
Imagine, if you will, you are married to a person, things haven't been smooth all the years you have been together, but you go through the motions anyway, just because you are afraid of hurting them and being alone. You meet someone through work or just a random situation. One meeting turns to two, then to four, then to multiple times a week. This person understands you, doesn't judge you, doesn't pressure you. This person makes you feel the way you know the person you're married to should be making you feel. You tried to get it through to your husband/wife that you're not happy, and it seems to work for a week or so, but then the cold shoulder only returns. What do you do? Do you attempt to take a chance? Do you make the decision to go on your own (if childless) and end the marriage that was made only for the sake that you thought you could do no better? Is what you feel real or are you just a lovesick lovefool?
These are all important questions and I am not going to answer them for you, because I can't. It is up to the person who, sadly, is stuck in the middle of two loves - one quickly rising and the other nothing but a flicker. No one wants to hurt another person intentional, or at the very least shouldn't want to, but hurting happens. Too many people stay in relationships, marriage/engagement/dating/etc., just because they do not want to hurt the person they are with and feel like that if they do end it, they won't be strong enough to stay away or stay alone. It's a tough choice, but toxicity in relationships is unfortunately not uncommon. When one prospers, the other suffers. Relationships are about a careful balance, from friendship all the way up through marriage, balance is key.
Why is balance an important aspect in a relationship? The answer is simple. Ask yourself, if I do this, it would make me happy, but if I do it it will make my partner unhappy, would I still do it? In menial actions, many people would say yes. Oh, if I go golfing today and my partner doesn't want me to because they want to go pick out a new couch we won't even buy, they will just get over it. Many people see the situation this way, but what if it is a more important action. What if it involves uprooting your lives and making your partner miserable? Do you still do it and make them just 'deal' with it? That is a question you need to ask yourself. What if they did it to you? Would you feel the same way if you were told to just 'deal' with it? Of course you wouldn't. Balance. The good comes with the bad, but concessions need to be made, and if one side won't bend, maybe the only right choice is to break (it off).
I'm not advocating ending of relationships over anything, but ending a situation before it advances to the point where it is impossible to end it is an important decision to make. Be sure in your choices. Once they are made, they are made, someone will be hurt if the choice involves ending something. Love is a grand thing and you can be deep in a current relationship when you find that the love you thought you had wasn't what you wanted, but suddenly it comes out of nowhere and sends you ass over tea kettle. This is going to be a two-part article, with part two dealing with the budding romance. Got to end the doom and gloom of dying romances as quickly as possible, eh?
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Commentary: Blue November (Or Why I Feel Like I'm On A Nowhere Road)
Holidays are always a stressful time for people, I'm no different. All over the world it's the same. Hopefully people have those in their lives that make them happy and I'm not saying that I don't, but this holiday has been lacking. I am grateful to my sister and her life partner for creating a wonderful meal and a wonderful day of cooking and laughing, but the feeling of something missing is still there. It's a time for giving thanks, and I have to do that for a few things before I continue:
My own situation is one of my own making, so the blame is squarely where it belongs. I have tended to fall for impossible situations, which, as the word implies, is impossible. Like approaching a wall 100 feet tall and infinitely wide and trying to punch your way through, I stupidly walk forward with my hand ready to play battering ram. This is one thing I am not thankful for, but I am thankful I have been able to avoid getting too deep in each of those situations most of the time. The far away, the married, and the engaged, these have for some reason become a few of my favorite things, which is just a form of self torture, really. Maybe it is a way of not having to get too close. Maybe it's a way to keep myself from falling for these unavailable women. Who knows, but I can say the second of those is wrong. I have fallen, but I still drag myself back up. Another thing I'm thankful for.
To the lonely on this holiday, I love you. Simple as that. Those the feel that there is no one that cares for them beyond their immediate friends and family, you have me. That can mean nothing, something, or anywhere in between those to you, but there you have it. I look forward to providing more bits and pieces of me and the world around me for you to enjoy. I am thankful that you all allow me to do what I love. Happy Holidays.
Added bonus: A few pictures of the people in my life, all of which I am thankful for:
- I thank the wonderful people in my life. All my friends that span the United States and beyond. Most of you have been with me through the rough and smooth and I am lucky to have you all in my life.
- I thank my family for the wonderful support they have given me no matter my decisions in life.
- I thank you people that come here and enjoy my writing. I wish I could give each of you a personalized message thanking you, but I would spend most of my days doing that. As a thanks for you, I strive to provide you with interesting things to read and hopefully you enjoy them.
My own situation is one of my own making, so the blame is squarely where it belongs. I have tended to fall for impossible situations, which, as the word implies, is impossible. Like approaching a wall 100 feet tall and infinitely wide and trying to punch your way through, I stupidly walk forward with my hand ready to play battering ram. This is one thing I am not thankful for, but I am thankful I have been able to avoid getting too deep in each of those situations most of the time. The far away, the married, and the engaged, these have for some reason become a few of my favorite things, which is just a form of self torture, really. Maybe it is a way of not having to get too close. Maybe it's a way to keep myself from falling for these unavailable women. Who knows, but I can say the second of those is wrong. I have fallen, but I still drag myself back up. Another thing I'm thankful for.
To the lonely on this holiday, I love you. Simple as that. Those the feel that there is no one that cares for them beyond their immediate friends and family, you have me. That can mean nothing, something, or anywhere in between those to you, but there you have it. I look forward to providing more bits and pieces of me and the world around me for you to enjoy. I am thankful that you all allow me to do what I love. Happy Holidays.
Added bonus: A few pictures of the people in my life, all of which I am thankful for:
Monday, November 9, 2009
Commentary: Rules of Attraction
I think that the attraction is instant, but chemistry is an ever evolving entity. I have had many instant attractions and some of those instant attractions led into very fine friendships, though some rough patches did occur with certain few. It is difficult to say at first why you really are attracted to someone the instant you meet them, beyond superficial reasons. When you get to know them more, you find yourself drawn to them in more than one way; you find yourself stimulated by their intelligence, their humour, their focus and drive, etc, etc.
I have given many people second and third chances, it's hard not to, but when you have to make the choice to cut the head off the serpent before it steals your life away, it can be freeing. Now, I'm not calling the women I have dated serpents, by that I mean the chances are the serpent. Something is not right if you are giving chance after chance. Eventually you would need to look out for you.
I have fallen in love and out of love at the speed of light. It's easy both ways. I have even developed feelings for someone whom I didn't originally have those feelings for to begin with. That is where chemistry kicked in. I learned more and more about them, until the point was reached were I thought "wow.. this person is amazing.." and all their sterling qualities came bursting through and I finally viewed them as someone I would like to be with.
Love is hard. It's a minefield that everyone was thrown into. I have had instant attraction to friends, some that I consider my best friends nowadays. I have developed chemistry with people who I didn't know before. I have desired, lusted, and wanted. All those fun little sins that everyone does, but love is elusive, difficult, and hard. If love were as easy, everyone would be in happy, joyous relationships. Love is not that at all, it is dirty, hard, but entirely worth every drop of sweat, blood, or tear. Worth it all.
I have given many people second and third chances, it's hard not to, but when you have to make the choice to cut the head off the serpent before it steals your life away, it can be freeing. Now, I'm not calling the women I have dated serpents, by that I mean the chances are the serpent. Something is not right if you are giving chance after chance. Eventually you would need to look out for you.
I have fallen in love and out of love at the speed of light. It's easy both ways. I have even developed feelings for someone whom I didn't originally have those feelings for to begin with. That is where chemistry kicked in. I learned more and more about them, until the point was reached were I thought "wow.. this person is amazing.." and all their sterling qualities came bursting through and I finally viewed them as someone I would like to be with.
Love is hard. It's a minefield that everyone was thrown into. I have had instant attraction to friends, some that I consider my best friends nowadays. I have developed chemistry with people who I didn't know before. I have desired, lusted, and wanted. All those fun little sins that everyone does, but love is elusive, difficult, and hard. If love were as easy, everyone would be in happy, joyous relationships. Love is not that at all, it is dirty, hard, but entirely worth every drop of sweat, blood, or tear. Worth it all.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Commentary: Friends Can Be Amazing Sometimes
Real quick commentary for you all this labor day. My friends are a collection of amazing people. Somewhere along life, I did something right and surrounded myself with great people with some spectacular abilities. While some of the things they do are flat out creative genius, some of the things they do just make me laugh and be thankful someone like that is sharing my life.
I have friends ranging across the United States and beyond, but below I listed a few of my friends who have some amazing things to view from your very own computer chair! Enjoy, this list will grow as more and more friends take to the information superhighway!
The Basically Awesome Show - Monica and friends take to the internet to engage in random discussion and assorted fun! Now, you may think, "wow, a vlog..awesome?" It actually is. Monica, the star of the show, is accomplished in many diverse things outside of being an internet star. Professional horse rider, aspiring opera singer, 80's music aficionado, and expensive shoeaholic, Monica is one of the brightest stars I know.
Thoughts on the Rocks: Shaken, not Stirred - Paul is one of my best friends and one of the most free spirits I have ever met. With the soul of a gypsy, and music flowing through every inch of his body, he takes what life gives him and despite the negatives, always looks towards the positives. He is all over the internet and always willing to meet new people. Read his writing, find him on facebook, check out the insides of his mind!
Destructo Deviations - Need I really explain how awesome Amber is? Check out her site, found right here on my musings, and you will NOT be disappointed.
I have friends ranging across the United States and beyond, but below I listed a few of my friends who have some amazing things to view from your very own computer chair! Enjoy, this list will grow as more and more friends take to the information superhighway!
The Basically Awesome Show - Monica and friends take to the internet to engage in random discussion and assorted fun! Now, you may think, "wow, a vlog..awesome?" It actually is. Monica, the star of the show, is accomplished in many diverse things outside of being an internet star. Professional horse rider, aspiring opera singer, 80's music aficionado, and expensive shoeaholic, Monica is one of the brightest stars I know.
Thoughts on the Rocks: Shaken, not Stirred - Paul is one of my best friends and one of the most free spirits I have ever met. With the soul of a gypsy, and music flowing through every inch of his body, he takes what life gives him and despite the negatives, always looks towards the positives. He is all over the internet and always willing to meet new people. Read his writing, find him on facebook, check out the insides of his mind!
Destructo Deviations - Need I really explain how awesome Amber is? Check out her site, found right here on my musings, and you will NOT be disappointed.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Commentary: Back Home
It's a strange feeling returning home after being gone for almost 7 years. Besides my brief return to establish residency for my college, this is the first time I have returned for an extremely extended time. It feels like a new toothbrush. You know it's good for you, but stiff bristles attack you at every turn.
Having to reestablish old friendships and try to gain new ones is the hardest part. I have met with a few of my old friends, but a 7 year divide stands between us. I have changed in my time away, I can tell you that. I wouldn't say I am worldly by any extent of the word, but I have moved on while they have remained stagnant. I guess that is the way of the world.
The drive from White Plains to Buffalo was one long drive with nothing but my father in the car and no radio signal driving through the Catskills.
Wow, you wouldn't believe the lack of any type of radio outside of country music. Passing some of those small towns, I was almost expecting dueling banjos to start playing on repeat. When you pass by towns you can't find on any maps, with signs made of wood that looks like it was old enough to have been torn off of the Santa Maria... I was frightened and in no mood to squeal like a pig.
I saw a town that looks like it was trapped in the 50's as well. So stuck in the 50's, I saw a malt shop, a full service gas station conveniently named "Gas", a Drug Shoppe, and no modern conveniences. No ATM's, no fast food beyond a burger joint where you get served in your car, no Starbucks...or any coffee shop to be exact.
That right there is what actually stopped me from envying this type of life. Coffee is my life-blood. If I had no place to go for my addiction, I believe I could depopulate the place with a waspish attitude and massive headaches. As we all know, us coffee addicts drink coffee to suppress our latent mutations. Who knows what abilities we possess, but they are destructful and you never want to see them.
Arriving back at Buffalo, I found my haven. Tim Horton Coffee. If you never had the pleasure of stopping at a Tim Horton's while in Western New York, do yourself a favor and stop in for a Large Hazelnut Double-Double (Large coffee, hazelnut shot, 2 cream, 2 sugar). You will not be disappointed. If you are here for an extended period of time, I will list a few things you cannot pass on:
Tim Horton's - One of the best, cheapest cups of coffee you can find in the area. Using addictive Canadian creamer, you will desire it for the rest of your life.
Mighty Taco - Yes, you have most likely had Taco Bell, but Taco Hell has nothing on Mighty Taco. Have yourself a value meal and enjoy high quality ingredients along with a large Loganberry soda.
Buffalo Waterfront - A work in progress, the Waterfront is still one of the best places to go for many different attractions:
Shea's Buffalo Performing Arts Center - One of the best places I have ever been to when seeing a play or musical. One of the historical cornerstones of the Waterfront area.
Buffalo Naval Park - To appreciate the Waterfront, you have to tour the 3 retired naval vessels that are always on display. The USS Little Rock, USS Croaker, and USS The Sullivans is a constant reminder of the past and will always hold a special place in your heart as you walk through the passages and cabins that people who defended the United States with their lives once walked and lived.
Nietzsche's - For the night owls, head down to Nietzsche's, near the Waterfront, for live music and a brew with other night owls. Tons of local artists sing and play music with a sprinkle of stand-up comedy days. Good prices and good people, can you ask for more?
Anchor Bar - For those that like history and food in equal amounts, head to the Anchor Bar. The home of the ORIGINAL buffalo wing. Not an imitation, nor an impostor, Anchor Bar is where the wing was born and raised to what it is today. Don't settle for soggy wings ever again, get your grub on with the best wings in the country!
Club Diablo - For those that want to explore the darker side of the dark side of the night, head to Club Diablo. If I could imagine a place to meet Miss Destructo if she ever graced this city with her presence, it would be here. Classy, cozy, one of the best alternative clubs/bars I have ever been to, you get treated to live music, fine brews, and if you are in the area June 12th, you can catch the Purgatory 2 Road Show, the #1 touring fetish show in the nation!
These are just a few of the attractions you can check out, but there is so much more. If you ever want to know of some family, individual, adult, etc, attractions of the great city of Buffalo, feel free to contact me! I am also always down for meeting my readers and would be happy to buy you a drink if you ever see me out and about town! Enjoy your trip here if you ever come, you wont be disappointed!
Having to reestablish old friendships and try to gain new ones is the hardest part. I have met with a few of my old friends, but a 7 year divide stands between us. I have changed in my time away, I can tell you that. I wouldn't say I am worldly by any extent of the word, but I have moved on while they have remained stagnant. I guess that is the way of the world.
The drive from White Plains to Buffalo was one long drive with nothing but my father in the car and no radio signal driving through the Catskills.
Wow, you wouldn't believe the lack of any type of radio outside of country music. Passing some of those small towns, I was almost expecting dueling banjos to start playing on repeat. When you pass by towns you can't find on any maps, with signs made of wood that looks like it was old enough to have been torn off of the Santa Maria... I was frightened and in no mood to squeal like a pig.I saw a town that looks like it was trapped in the 50's as well. So stuck in the 50's, I saw a malt shop, a full service gas station conveniently named "Gas", a Drug Shoppe, and no modern conveniences. No ATM's, no fast food beyond a burger joint where you get served in your car, no Starbucks...or any coffee shop to be exact.
That right there is what actually stopped me from envying this type of life. Coffee is my life-blood. If I had no place to go for my addiction, I believe I could depopulate the place with a waspish attitude and massive headaches. As we all know, us coffee addicts drink coffee to suppress our latent mutations. Who knows what abilities we possess, but they are destructful and you never want to see them.Arriving back at Buffalo, I found my haven. Tim Horton Coffee. If you never had the pleasure of stopping at a Tim Horton's while in Western New York, do yourself a favor and stop in for a Large Hazelnut Double-Double (Large coffee, hazelnut shot, 2 cream, 2 sugar). You will not be disappointed. If you are here for an extended period of time, I will list a few things you cannot pass on:
Tim Horton's - One of the best, cheapest cups of coffee you can find in the area. Using addictive Canadian creamer, you will desire it for the rest of your life.
Mighty Taco - Yes, you have most likely had Taco Bell, but Taco Hell has nothing on Mighty Taco. Have yourself a value meal and enjoy high quality ingredients along with a large Loganberry soda.
Buffalo Waterfront - A work in progress, the Waterfront is still one of the best places to go for many different attractions:
Shea's Buffalo Performing Arts Center - One of the best places I have ever been to when seeing a play or musical. One of the historical cornerstones of the Waterfront area.
Buffalo Naval Park - To appreciate the Waterfront, you have to tour the 3 retired naval vessels that are always on display. The USS Little Rock, USS Croaker, and USS The Sullivans is a constant reminder of the past and will always hold a special place in your heart as you walk through the passages and cabins that people who defended the United States with their lives once walked and lived.
Nietzsche's - For the night owls, head down to Nietzsche's, near the Waterfront, for live music and a brew with other night owls. Tons of local artists sing and play music with a sprinkle of stand-up comedy days. Good prices and good people, can you ask for more?
Anchor Bar - For those that like history and food in equal amounts, head to the Anchor Bar. The home of the ORIGINAL buffalo wing. Not an imitation, nor an impostor, Anchor Bar is where the wing was born and raised to what it is today. Don't settle for soggy wings ever again, get your grub on with the best wings in the country!
Club Diablo - For those that want to explore the darker side of the dark side of the night, head to Club Diablo. If I could imagine a place to meet Miss Destructo if she ever graced this city with her presence, it would be here. Classy, cozy, one of the best alternative clubs/bars I have ever been to, you get treated to live music, fine brews, and if you are in the area June 12th, you can catch the Purgatory 2 Road Show, the #1 touring fetish show in the nation!
These are just a few of the attractions you can check out, but there is so much more. If you ever want to know of some family, individual, adult, etc, attractions of the great city of Buffalo, feel free to contact me! I am also always down for meeting my readers and would be happy to buy you a drink if you ever see me out and about town! Enjoy your trip here if you ever come, you wont be disappointed!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Commentary: Shout Out
Quick shout out to Miss Destructo at Destructo Deviations for her showing on WYFF in Greenville on Easter morning! Check out her interview here!
If you haven't checked out her blog yet, what are you waiting for?! Hop to it, right quick and in a hurry!
-SB
If you haven't checked out her blog yet, what are you waiting for?! Hop to it, right quick and in a hurry!
-SB
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Commentary: Life Revisited
I have been doing a couple of things recently that have had me revisiting how I run my life. Oddly, the music of Mac Lethal and the website Lifereboot.com (thanks to Miss Destructo) have had me looking at things a bit differently. It's strange to re-evaluate my life at my age, but sometimes these happen earlier than we think.
I am trying to decide between coming back to Purchase or going to Buffalo State University and switching my major to a completely new course. I am thinking of moving from Psychology to English, follow what I have always had a passion in. I will effectively lose 2 years of schooling, but it is a small price to pay for what I love.
All that is keeping me tuned to Purchase right now is Shanna. She has entered my life like a shooting star and touched me as deep as seeing three in a single night. My problem is... I am confused. Not about her or even my academic future... I am confused about my life. I don't know what I want, so I seem to self-sabotage myself, stopping myself from being happy before the other shoe drops.
What do I do? This seems to be the question of my life right now. Do I go to Buffalo, back home to care for my family and pursue my passion in writing? Do I stay in Purchase? Or do I do the unexpected and move someplace different, away from most people I know and restart my life? So many questions, so little time to decide.
A maudlin post, I know. Not my typical. Just some very late night ramblings and thoughts echoing through my head. So, before I get completely melancholy, I will leave you with some Mac Lethal lyrics that mave stuck with me at every part of my day recently.
Mac Lethal - Sun Storm
And I know,
There's something beautiful within my grasp.
And I know,
I think I'm satisfied but it won't last.
And I know,
To lace my boots up and pick my path.
I'll find another rainstorm to fill my glass.
Mac Lethal - Black Widow Spider
There's a black raincloud floatin' in my head
I always lose at the game of love
I gotta cleanse this nightmare out my system
Somebody wake me up
I'm gonna pop me a pill, gonna die for the girl that'll let me die for her
Cause my ex girl wanna ask me why I feel so strongly like I'm sure
Well, Fuck her.
NOTE:: These lyrics have no bearing on anyone in my life but my own psyche. Do not read into them thinking they are about anyone specific. They are just lyrics that have stuck with me.
I am trying to decide between coming back to Purchase or going to Buffalo State University and switching my major to a completely new course. I am thinking of moving from Psychology to English, follow what I have always had a passion in. I will effectively lose 2 years of schooling, but it is a small price to pay for what I love.
All that is keeping me tuned to Purchase right now is Shanna. She has entered my life like a shooting star and touched me as deep as seeing three in a single night. My problem is... I am confused. Not about her or even my academic future... I am confused about my life. I don't know what I want, so I seem to self-sabotage myself, stopping myself from being happy before the other shoe drops.
What do I do? This seems to be the question of my life right now. Do I go to Buffalo, back home to care for my family and pursue my passion in writing? Do I stay in Purchase? Or do I do the unexpected and move someplace different, away from most people I know and restart my life? So many questions, so little time to decide.
A maudlin post, I know. Not my typical. Just some very late night ramblings and thoughts echoing through my head. So, before I get completely melancholy, I will leave you with some Mac Lethal lyrics that mave stuck with me at every part of my day recently.
Mac Lethal - Sun Storm
And I know,
There's something beautiful within my grasp.
And I know,
I think I'm satisfied but it won't last.
And I know,
To lace my boots up and pick my path.
I'll find another rainstorm to fill my glass.
Mac Lethal - Black Widow Spider
There's a black raincloud floatin' in my head
I always lose at the game of love
I gotta cleanse this nightmare out my system
Somebody wake me up
I'm gonna pop me a pill, gonna die for the girl that'll let me die for her
Cause my ex girl wanna ask me why I feel so strongly like I'm sure
Well, Fuck her.
NOTE:: These lyrics have no bearing on anyone in my life but my own psyche. Do not read into them thinking they are about anyone specific. They are just lyrics that have stuck with me.
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