Caring for a person can lead people in strange directions. It's a drug that most of the world population is addicted to. Be it attraction to another person, money, power, objects, or a feeling. We are all lovestruck in some sense of the word. Even though we are lovestruck, we are sometimes in situations where we feel prevented from showing, or telling, the world of our love. Not that being in love in one of those above ways is wrong, but because we feel like we are trapped. The truth is that we are trapped, but only by ourselves.
Imagine, if you will, you are married to a person, things haven't been smooth all the years you have been together, but you go through the motions anyway, just because you are afraid of hurting them and being alone. You meet someone through work or just a random situation. One meeting turns to two, then to four, then to multiple times a week. This person understands you, doesn't judge you, doesn't pressure you. This person makes you feel the way you know the person you're married to should be making you feel. You tried to get it through to your husband/wife that you're not happy, and it seems to work for a week or so, but then the cold shoulder only returns. What do you do? Do you attempt to take a chance? Do you make the decision to go on your own (if childless) and end the marriage that was made only for the sake that you thought you could do no better? Is what you feel real or are you just a lovesick lovefool?
These are all important questions and I am not going to answer them for you, because I can't. It is up to the person who, sadly, is stuck in the middle of two loves - one quickly rising and the other nothing but a flicker. No one wants to hurt another person intentional, or at the very least shouldn't want to, but hurting happens. Too many people stay in relationships, marriage/engagement/dating/etc., just because they do not want to hurt the person they are with and feel like that if they do end it, they won't be strong enough to stay away or stay alone. It's a tough choice, but toxicity in relationships is unfortunately not uncommon. When one prospers, the other suffers. Relationships are about a careful balance, from friendship all the way up through marriage, balance is key.
Why is balance an important aspect in a relationship? The answer is simple. Ask yourself, if I do this, it would make me happy, but if I do it it will make my partner unhappy, would I still do it? In menial actions, many people would say yes. Oh, if I go golfing today and my partner doesn't want me to because they want to go pick out a new couch we won't even buy, they will just get over it. Many people see the situation this way, but what if it is a more important action. What if it involves uprooting your lives and making your partner miserable? Do you still do it and make them just 'deal' with it? That is a question you need to ask yourself. What if they did it to you? Would you feel the same way if you were told to just 'deal' with it? Of course you wouldn't. Balance. The good comes with the bad, but concessions need to be made, and if one side won't bend, maybe the only right choice is to break (it off).
I'm not advocating ending of relationships over anything, but ending a situation before it advances to the point where it is impossible to end it is an important decision to make. Be sure in your choices. Once they are made, they are made, someone will be hurt if the choice involves ending something. Love is a grand thing and you can be deep in a current relationship when you find that the love you thought you had wasn't what you wanted, but suddenly it comes out of nowhere and sends you ass over tea kettle. This is going to be a two-part article, with part two dealing with the budding romance. Got to end the doom and gloom of dying romances as quickly as possible, eh?
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