Welcome to part two of the Lovesick Lovefool commentary and if you have stuck around for this long, you have read about the end of a relationship, but you ask yourself, "Sonic, what about the other end of the spectrum, the birth of a new relationship?" Well, worry yourselves not, perusers of the internet, I will be going into it today. Unlike the death of a relationship, the start of one is generally painless, but there are times where pain comes in the baggage from one or both of the entrants into this union. Sit back and grab a drink (as always, I suggest a nice medium blend coffee) and delve deep into the birth of a relationship, and how to maintain it during those heady few months.
Young love, ahh, we all remember it well. Oh, I'm not talking love that was once had in those dim and distant days when you were barely grown into your body. I'm speaking of the love that has just entered your life. The love that suddenly has you spinning like a top. The love that has you singing in the shower, the streets, classrooms, and workplaces. You got it, that love. You found the person who makes you feel. That's it, they make you feel in a way you haven't felt about another person. They make you feel like you could conquer the world with only their minimal encouragement. These are the best days you can imagine. You're not laying down any rules on each other as of yet, you both just genuinely take pleasure in each others company and making each other happy. . . plus all the benefits of those in a serious relationship. After the honeymoon days are done, what then? It's possible that those feelings you had early on start to flag and the little things that your partner does begins to irritate you. We all have those experiences, but they don't spell the end of a strong-lasting couple in the making.
Understanding that these moments will happen is key. Understanding in itself is key. Things wont stay the same, but they don't have to get worse, though it takes effort to turn a negative into a positive. Keeping things from growing stagnant is important because you realize that the same routine just won't cut it now that you are in a serious relationship. It could be a simple activity as you use to go out for drinks on Friday night, now you do a different activity. Maybe a dinner and movie. Maybe a weekend trip together to someplace neither of you have been. These small concessions to the future of your relationship are sometimes necessary and you must be willing to bend. You will get frustrated and you will get upset, but it is up to you how you decide to handle them and handling them starts with understanding them.
Many fine relationship experts will tell you that sending gifts to your loved one on the spur of the moment is a good thing to strengthen your relationship. This is not necessarily bad advice, but I would take it one step further. Hypothetically, if you showed up at home or at your significant others residence one day, did all the hey-how-are-you activities, told them to grab a jacket and go driving with you, but you take them not only on a little drive, but lets say you arranged a picnic for the two of you way out in the hills. This type of activity doesn't break the bank, it doesn't put pressure on your partner if they received a ring or some trinket to like it. These small personal touches make a huge difference no matter the gender of your partner. There has been times I have taken my partner on car rides across state lines just to take them to a day concert of a band I knew they loved, but never thought they would see. It was simple, a tank of gas, tickets to a country fair, and food while we were there. Important notice, though, don't do things like this with the expectance to get anything in return. If you do things for your loved one with the expectation to be reciprocated, you might not be in the right relationship for you (depends on your partner, I would guess).
I am in no way an expert on relationships and this bit of commentary is in no way a definitive article on what you should or should not do. These are just a few things I have done in my life that worked well to help pass the months where the relationship starts to lose that "new car" scent. Coming out of a long term relationship myself, I have experienced both sides of this two part commentary. I have been so deep in love, done the little things that need to be done to keep a relationship strong, but towards the end, I began to realize the toxicity and how it was affecting me, choosing to severe the diseased limb before it spread to the roots and became too late. I hope everyone who reads this will never go through heartbreak, but sadly many of us have gone through it already, are going through it, or will be going through it at some point in their lives. All I can offer is support and the knowledge that things do look darkest just before the dawn, but the dawn is coming. Just keep waiting for it and if you haven't found that someone special, you will, and you will understand each word that I have put down a different way then than you do right now.
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