Commentary: And You Can Quote Me On That!

Just a small collection of a few of my favorite quotes. Enjoy!

"I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions." ~James Michener

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." ~Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

"True evil entered the world not with the first sin, nor even with the first murder. It came when an otherwise decent man first looked at a sinner, and at a guiltless stranger with a similar appearance... and punished both of them."

"Be obscure clearly." ~E.B. White

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

Poetry: Disease

Burrowing beyond blood and bone,
it takes root and grows.
Loss of feeling and sense of sight,
the life once lived passes.

Diving deep down and destroying,
it eats away at what once was.
Mind spins and thoughts unravel,
a new life is on the horizon.

Living lost and lying low,
so none can reach the truth.
Living not as once was,
the disease called love changes you.

Commentary: Seasons Greetings!

Hey everyone, I just want to say Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to all my readers! I hope you have a great time, full of fun and loving! I even made a video for you to enjoy! Again, happy holidays and thank you for making this year a blast and here is to more fun and writing next year!

Sonic Boom aka Brian Hinckley

EDIT:: I know I have a typing error, I was in a rush to get this up before family obligations occurred!

Poetry: Not Naming Names

Being where I am,
it's hard to voice my thoughts.
Though the miles are great,
I will do my best to speak my heart.

Our time has been short,
merely falling grains of sand.
I decided to give you my heart,
though I'm not naming names.

You know who you are and
you know what you mean to me.
The miles may expand and contract,
but you are always with me.

I count the minutes and the days,
passing like the leaves falling out your windows.
You drive me and my steps,
I'm your willing passenger.

I hope I made this clear and concise,
and haven't messed up too badly.
When I say I love you I truly mean it,
though for now I'm not naming names.

Writing: Moment in Time - I'll Be Home For Christmas

The icy roads gleam in the reds, greens, whites, and bright blues of the holiday lights shining from the houses as his car slowly drives past. The radio plays softly in the car, whispering Christmas carols almost as if not to wake the neighborhood. He glances out the frost-tinted windows and takes in suburbia, with each lawn covered in small armies of snowmen, tiny forts that were no doubt loaded to the brim with snowballs, wreaths hanging on gift-wrapped doors, and the occasional mistletoe hanging above those. He had missed it all, but in some way, he resented it all as well. He had been gone, living in a place where there was no snow. He lived a life that wasn't who he was. He had ran from this place as fast as he could, knowing that he couldn't take watching his love die slowly day after day. He left three years ago, Christmas Eve, and three years to the day, he had returned.

He wasn't sure what to expect now, with three years of no letters, phone calls, no signs of life. He left every shred of his past behind him and became someone new. The sounds of snow crunching under his tires as he pulled into the driveway he hadn't pulled into since the day she said she couldn't be with him pulled him from his own mind. He hadn't the nerve to admit he was wrong for three years. He hadn't the decency to contact her to tell her why he left and that he loved her for three years. After this long, he wasn't even sure if he knew why he left. Stopping the car in the drive, he looked to the place they once called home. Her, his sister and her life-partner, and him. The memories flood his mind, causing his hands to grip the steering wheel and tears to fill his eyes. He resisted the urge to drive away, to go back to his life in the sun and never come home again, but that thought snapped him from his misery. Home. This was his home - is. It is his home, not some condo on the beach in the south, no. This place, with its faded paint, rusted fence, and extremely sloping foundation was his home.

He stepped from his car and walked through the snow to the door, his mind a nervous ball of conflicting thoughts. Did she still live here? Was she with someone else? Was she with someone who deserved her and treated her better than he did? He knew that someone as amazing as her deserved so much better tan him, but as he reached the door, his body froze solid, leaving him standing there much like the snowmen he saw on his way here. Her hair was tinted and cascading across one wide and beautiful eye, her hand was pressed to her lips, and that one eye he could see was lined with unshed tears, three years worth of unshed tears. She was still so heart-stoppingly beautiful and he felt the same way he did when he first saw her. Neither of them moved, nor spoke, mostly because they were both afraid to say something and make the other leave again. His mouth opened and closed, his tongue heavy as lead. Her hand moved forward, towards him, then stopped and drew back, her body unable to move. He didn't know what to do, much less what to say, and with his eyes full of tears and his throat dry as sand, he said the only thing that he was able to.

"Merry Christmas..."

"Merry Christmas...", and before the last syllable left her lips, she was in his arms, both of them drowning in their love for each other, and both knowing that neither will be leaving the other again. Their lips touched as the snow fell around them and mistletoe gleamed in the soft porch light above them.

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Happy Holidays to all my readers... Brian aka Sonic Boom

Poetry: Flame

She burns like a midnight candle,
wicker taught and ragged.
Dressing in darkness and twilight,
she is the flame in my heart.

One step into insanity and two more to come,
she drips inspiration to the ground - words never heard.
Dancing where none will ever stop her,
she is the flame in my heart.

A spark turns to flicker and flicker to flame,
her love sets me alight - burning, caressing.
My lighthouse has been light deep in my chest,
she is the light that guides me - she is the flame in my heart.

Writing: Moment in Time - Longing

It's difficult to love from afar. When your heart wants to be with the one you love, but the one you love is with another. He sips his jack and coke, watching the sun fall in a molten pool between the mountains. So far away from her, no contact in days - his heart ached within his chest. He missed her so much, more than he knows he should. He really hasn't known her very long and they met by pure chance alone. She was difficult, indecisive, confused, and involved with another man, but he loved her. . . god help him, he loved her, he had no doubt in his mind about that. All her complications were outweighed by what she meant to him; by how she made him feel by doing even the smallest thing. He took another sip, his mood darkening like the sky above him. . .

Writing: Moment in Time - All Roads Lead to Her

He packed his car and took one last look at the mountains in the distance. He was not looking forward to having to drive the roller coaster road for the next one hundred miles of his trip. He thinks to how long it felt like he has been away - too long. He slams the trunk shut and hugs his mother and father goodbye. Getting in his car, he rolls down the window, gives a quick wave and is on his way. He takes the exit to the thruway headed north, lights a cigarette, and watches the clouds scuttle across the sky.

He felt a pull inside him since the day he left and it only grew stronger. Each mile of each state he has gone through, the pull grew stronger. He wanted to deny the feeling, that there was no other reason than wanting to be in his own bed again, but he would have to call himself a liar as well. She was in his mind in a most potent way. Each sign he drove by had her name, each mileage sign said the number of miles until he saw her again. He sipped at his bitter coffee and took a drag from his cigarette and tried to drive her from his mind. He flicked on his Ipod, hoping to drown out thoughts of her with music, but The Proclaimers "I Would Walk (500 Miles)" begins to play and he groans at the thought of fate laughing at him.

He drove through the day and in to part of the night when he pulled in his driveway, watching the snow swirl around his tires. He looks at his house and closes his eyes. Finally home, he thought, but the pull wasn't pulling him here and finally he had to admit that the pull was from his desire to be with her. He slipped the car into reverse and backs out of his drive, determined to hold her in his arms before he does anything else, because after being away for so long, nothing else but her matters to him at this very moment. He smirks and thinks, he is in deeper than he thought he would be, but he wants to be even deeper - he decided he is done trying to fight it.

Poetry: Two Hearts (Two Minds) [Two Loves]

When you love a person, you love them without conditions,
you leave your childishness at the door - you love them.
You learn to give of yourself and you learn you are not alone,
but it's hard to love - when your love is not your own.

You wear a smile as easy as a mask to cover the pain below,
turning from the one who you thought you loved once.
The heart demands another though the mind is torn between,
how can you love someone else - your heart becomes torn.

One half flutters and spins, living in the world you have,
bathing in the safety of comfort, never moving though screaming.
The other half drifts away to a place where you can be yourself,
no judgments nor demands - you cry over what might be.

One path or the other, the mind cannot choose either,
the heart shrieks and screams, but comes out as a whisper.
Both may love you, both may lie -
but one love is rushing forth; the other one dry.

Commentary: Love vs. Infatuation

I was using Firefox add-on, StumbleUpon, and came across this gem. Full credit is given at the bottom of the article. I did not write this, only found it to be very true.

Infatuation is instant desire,
one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire.
It takes root and grows,
one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity.
You are excited and eager,but not genuinely happy.
There are nagging doubts,unanswered questions,
little bits pieces about your beloved
that you would just as soon examine too closely.
It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection.
It is real.It gives you strength and grows beyond you,to bolster your beloved.
You are warmed by his presence,even when he is away.
Miles do not separate you. You want him near.But near or far,
you know he is yours and you can wait.

Infatuation says,"We must get married right away.
I can't risk losing him."

Love says, "Be patient.He is yours. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement.Whenever you are in one another's company you are hoping it will end in intimacy.

Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's cheating.
Sometimes you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure, and unthreatened.He feels your trust and it makes him even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you'll regret later,but love never will.

Love lifts you up.It makes you look up.It makes you think up.It makes you a better person than you were before.


Found on: http://loveinfac.rediffblogs.com/

Writing: Moment in Time - Unconventional

He was speeding, but he didn't care, his mind was a wall of flames and his eyes barely noticed the cars flying by. All he could hear was her words, words that burned into his soul and set his thoughts aflame. He hurt me, bad. His foot presses harder on the pedal, his anger acting as fuel for his Monte Carlo. Soon as he heard those words, he went downstairs and to the garage, looking around for the thing that would show just how unhappy he was with the fact that he hurt her. Sliding a box of random holiday decorations out of the way, he saw his old hockey goalie stick. Fingers wrapping around the shaft so hard that he can hear the wood creaking beneath his anger, he took it and threw it in the passenger side of the car and pealed out of of the drive. He was close, he knew it. He could hear the fear in her voice still, her fear fueling him. He turned down her road and screeched to a stop at the head of her driveway, stopping a car pulling out. A car with him inside it.

A quick glance and he took it all in. She was curled up on her porch, the snow falling around her and the red pool that was forming below her. He got out of his car to meet the man, if he could be called that, who did this to her. He grabbed the stick and brandished it like a cugel, approaching the man who was desperately trying to escape the wrath he brought down on himself. He tried to throw a feeble punch at him and caught nothing but air. In his anger he saw her blood on his hands where his knuckle had caught her and opened up her lip. He took the punch but never broke eye contact, the only reaction was a smile. He swung his stick and caught that waste of skin under his ribcage, sending the air forcefully from his lungs. He watched the wretch double over and caught him with a overhand strike to his back. With a cry of pain, he fell to the ground, his eyes watering and a plead coming from his lips. He wondered if this wretch stopped when she said stop, when she bled, when she cried. He threw a knee to his face and watched him fall back into the snow, her blood and his staining the snow where his hands land.

He looked up from the pitiful excuse for a man laying below him and saw her watching with a hand pressed to her bloody mouth. He watched her run over and comfort him, the man who did this to her. His mind blanked, but his eyes took in everything. Without hearing, he saw her mouth apologies to this man, he saw her look up at him and yell in anger over what he did. He couldn't reply, because he could not believe what he was hearing, he only stood numbly over them as she apologized over and over to him. He turned and walked back to his car, dazed, not understanding what had just happened. His hand grasped the door handle when he felt her hand on his shoulder. He looked up and back, then felt her hand striking his face, stinging his skin and reverberating down to his heart. He watched her scold, yell, and hit him again, almost as if he was nothing but a disembodied spirit hovering above himself. He saw his lips say he loves her, but all that brought was tears from her. She turned from him and went back to the wretched man who was still struggling to get to his feet, blood coming from his mouth. He turned back and opened his door and sat inside his car. He didn't know how long he sat, but the snow had already left a thin film over his gray blue hood. Starting the ignition, he pulled out of her driveway, his moist eyes looking at the two trails of blood that led back into the house.

Writing: Moment in Time - Part-Time Lover

He drove home, wind whipping snow around his car and tires spraying dirt-filled slush behind him, with her on his mind. He knew where she was going and he knew where he was going, but there was a part in him that wanted to go where she was going. As he weaved in and out of the traffic, his mind was full of them together, times the made him feel like this could be it. Shattering like the snowflakes on his windshield, those thoughts fade away, his mind pulling back because he knows he can't put too much of himself on something that may not happen. He presses harder on the gas petal, hoping, praying, that he can outrun his own desires. Faster he went, the faster the enjoyment of having her in his arms, the taste of her kisses, the touch of her skin, the smile on her face, fade. Faster and faster he goes, the snow whipping by until it looks like a white tunnel. His mind racing, his thoughts chaotic. No matter how fast he goes, she is still in his mind. He loves her. He slams on the breaks.

His car slides, the rear pulling free and forcing him into a full thee hundred and sixty degree spin. His fingers digging into the wheel, his mind going as fast as the car as it rotates out of control. He closes his eyes and even in this moment where death could be lurking outside of his ice covered window, there she is. Suddenly the world stops spinning, at least the world outside his mind. He opens his eyes, feeling the sweat bead up and run down his cold skin. He was still in traffic, unmoving, but he remembers everything so clearly. He relaxes and leans back, reaching for his phone. He looks down and sees a text from her. Flicking open his phone he sees a message she sent him from online. 'Though I'm here.. I love you'. He closes his phone and sets it down, moving his car a few more inches up the thruway, a smile on his face. Today he is a part-time lover, but someday he will be full-time, and giving all his love to her. He keeps smiling as the snow falls around him on this dark December night.

Poetry: Once

Once I had the world, or so I thought,
I had the girl, the job, the car,
but circumstances wouldn't pan out,
and alone I went to a land very far.
Once I thought I was happy with where I was,
but the days became the same, blurring in my eyes,
caffeine and alcohol became an interchangeable buzz,
I left before my bad habits could surprise.
Once I gave a girl a ring and thought she was the one,
I carved the diamond out of my heart, trusting her for all time,
but she used my mind and soul, locking me under the barrel of a gun,
I left and did what I had to do, saving my sanity from her filthy grime.
Once I thought I couldn't love again, but then I met you,
the one who taught me that love comes when we least expect it,
I offer up what I can, giving you love and affection for all you do,
you, that missing part of my heart, the part no one else could fit.

Commentary: Lovesick Lovefool (Part 2)

Welcome to part two of the Lovesick Lovefool commentary and if you have stuck around for this long, you have read about the end of a relationship, but you ask yourself, "Sonic, what about the other end of the spectrum, the birth of a new relationship?" Well, worry yourselves not, perusers of the internet, I will be going into it today. Unlike the death of a relationship, the start of one is generally painless, but there are times where pain comes in the baggage from one or both of the entrants into this union. Sit back and grab a drink (as always, I suggest a nice medium blend coffee) and delve deep into the birth of a relationship, and how to maintain it during those heady few months.

Young love, ahh, we all remember it well. Oh, I'm not talking love that was once had in those dim and distant days when you were barely grown into your body. I'm speaking of the love that has just entered your life. The love that suddenly has you spinning like a top. The love that has you singing in the shower, the streets, classrooms, and workplaces. You got it, that love. You found the person who makes you feel. That's it, they make you feel in a way you haven't felt about another person. They make you feel like you could conquer the world with only their minimal encouragement. These are the best days you can imagine. You're not laying down any rules on each other as of yet, you both just genuinely take pleasure in each others company and making each other happy. . . plus all the benefits of those in a serious relationship. After the honeymoon days are done, what then? It's possible that those feelings you had early on start to flag and the little things that your partner does begins to irritate you. We all have those experiences, but they don't spell the end of a strong-lasting couple in the making.

Understanding that these moments will happen is key. Understanding in itself is key. Things wont stay the same, but they don't have to get worse, though it takes effort to turn a negative into a positive. Keeping things from growing stagnant is important because you realize that the same routine just won't cut it now that you are in a serious relationship. It could be a simple activity as you use to go out for drinks on Friday night, now you do a different activity. Maybe a dinner and movie. Maybe a weekend trip together to someplace neither of you have been. These small concessions to the future of your relationship are sometimes necessary and you must be willing to bend. You will get frustrated and you will get upset, but it is up to you how you decide to handle them and handling them starts with understanding them.

Many fine relationship experts will tell you that sending gifts to your loved one on the spur of the moment is a good thing to strengthen your relationship. This is not necessarily bad advice, but I would take it one step further. Hypothetically, if you showed up at home or at your significant others residence one day, did all the hey-how-are-you activities, told them to grab a jacket and go driving with you, but you take them not only on a little drive, but lets say you arranged a picnic for the two of you way out in the hills. This type of activity doesn't break the bank, it doesn't put pressure on your partner if they received a ring or some trinket to like it. These small personal touches make a huge difference no matter the gender of your partner. There has been times I have taken my partner on car rides across state lines just to take them to a day concert of a band I knew they loved, but never thought they would see. It was simple, a tank of gas, tickets to a country fair, and food while we were there. Important notice, though, don't do things like this with the expectance to get anything in return. If you do things for your loved one with the expectation to be reciprocated, you might not be in the right relationship for you (depends on your partner, I would guess).

I am in no way an expert on relationships and this bit of commentary is in no way a definitive article on what you should or should not do. These are just a few things I have done in my life that worked well to help pass the months where the relationship starts to lose that "new car" scent. Coming out of a long term relationship myself, I have experienced both sides of this two part commentary. I have been so deep in love, done the little things that need to be done to keep a relationship strong, but towards the end, I began to realize the toxicity and how it was affecting me, choosing to severe the diseased limb before it spread to the roots and became too late. I hope everyone who reads this will never go through heartbreak, but sadly many of us have gone through it already, are going through it, or will be going through it at some point in their lives. All I can offer is support and the knowledge that things do look darkest just before the dawn, but the dawn is coming. Just keep waiting for it and if you haven't found that someone special, you will, and you will understand each word that I have put down a different way then than you do right now.

Poetry: Poetic Reasoning

What if I offered you what you wanted, but you turned away?
Giving you all you need with the desperate hope you'd stay,
knowing that I stood no chance from the start - punishing
myself with your love, but living every moment accepting.

Within this moment, I wish to hold you - spilling my heart,
but with that not possible, I content myself by sharing my art.
I write this for you and pour out my soul for you to drink
every emotion and kiss from this text - this indelible ink.

I can only hope the arrows I fire strike true in your soul
lighting the spark that now burns inside you beyond control.
If you feel for me as I feel for you now, let your kiss steal me
and dance with me, love, under the broad leaves of the pleasure tree.

Commentary: Lovesick Lovefool

Caring for a person can lead people in strange directions. It's a drug that most of the world population is addicted to. Be it attraction to another person, money, power, objects, or a feeling. We are all lovestruck in some sense of the word. Even though we are lovestruck, we are sometimes in situations where we feel prevented from showing, or telling, the world of our love. Not that being in love in one of those above ways is wrong, but because we feel like we are trapped. The truth is that we are trapped, but only by ourselves.

Imagine, if you will, you are married to a person, things haven't been smooth all the years you have been together, but you go through the motions anyway, just because you are afraid of hurting them and being alone. You meet someone through work or just a random situation. One meeting turns to two, then to four, then to multiple times a week. This person understands you, doesn't judge you, doesn't pressure you. This person makes you feel the way you know the person you're married to should be making you feel. You tried to get it through to your husband/wife that you're not happy, and it seems to work for a week or so, but then the cold shoulder only returns. What do you do? Do you attempt to take a chance? Do you make the decision to go on your own (if childless) and end the marriage that was made only for the sake that you thought you could do no better? Is what you feel real or are you just a lovesick lovefool?

These are all important questions and I am not going to answer them for you, because I can't. It is up to the person who, sadly, is stuck in the middle of two loves - one quickly rising and the other nothing but a flicker. No one wants to hurt another person intentional, or at the very least shouldn't want to, but hurting happens. Too many people stay in relationships, marriage/engagement/dating/etc., just because they do not want to hurt the person they are with and feel like that if they do end it, they won't be strong enough to stay away or stay alone. It's a tough choice, but toxicity in relationships is unfortunately not uncommon. When one prospers, the other suffers. Relationships are about a careful balance, from friendship all the way up through marriage, balance is key.

Why is balance an important aspect in a relationship? The answer is simple. Ask yourself, if I do this, it would make me happy, but if I do it it will make my partner unhappy, would I still do it? In menial actions, many people would say yes. Oh, if I go golfing today and my partner doesn't want me to because they want to go pick out a new couch we won't even buy, they will just get over it. Many people see the situation this way, but what if it is a more important action. What if it involves uprooting your lives and making your partner miserable? Do you still do it and make them just 'deal' with it? That is a question you need to ask yourself. What if they did it to you? Would you feel the same way if you were told to just 'deal' with it? Of course you wouldn't. Balance. The good comes with the bad, but concessions need to be made, and if one side won't bend, maybe the only right choice is to break (it off).

I'm not advocating ending of relationships over anything, but ending a situation before it advances to the point where it is impossible to end it is an important decision to make. Be sure in your choices. Once they are made, they are made, someone will be hurt if the choice involves ending something. Love is a grand thing and you can be deep in a current relationship when you find that the love you thought you had wasn't what you wanted, but suddenly it comes out of nowhere and sends you ass over tea kettle. This is going to be a two-part article, with part two dealing with the budding romance. Got to end the doom and gloom of dying romances as quickly as possible, eh?

Writing: Moment in Time - No Denying It

He could deny everything he felt for her, but as his lips touched hers, he knew that each excuse was spurious. His hand holding hers above her wealth of color tinted hair, fingers locked in an embrace all their own. His lips hovered less than an inch above hers and he could feel the electricity passing through that narrow breach between them. When it finally happened, he was sure they both could feel the audible click of a key entering a lock, but realizes that the sound could have been lost in the beating of two hearts that echoed throughout the room. The pressure of two bodies meeting erased all though as their fingers dug in to each other, losing sense of time and space in that first kiss.

His kisses trail down her lips to the groove between lip and chin, making her eyes close in pleasure. His free hand travels down the side of her face and down her shoulder, feeling the soft skin shiver as it exposes to the chilled December air. His eyes close as his lips trail downward, laying light kisses on her neck, forcing her body to respond with a slight gasp as she can also feel his hand travel slowly down the soft skin of her body. His lips trace a line between her breasts, the smile on his face and the groan of displeasure coming from her wanting lips tells him that he made the right choice. Sacrifice now for more later.

He lightly kisses down her stomach, lips closing in on the final destination of his previously sent hand. A flick and slow wrist movement allows the button and zipper of her jeans to open and slide to the side. His lips touch the top band of her panties and he feels an earthquake roll through her body. Hips rising eagerly to meet his eager lips, her now released hand sliding through his hair, pushing downwards and pulling upwards at the same time. His hand explores, lightly tugging and moving the fabric down slowly but surely. Her breathing becomes erratic, beating to the drumbeat of her heart that sounds in his ears, drowning out everything around them. His hand slides inside as a shrill sound shatters the still air around them, instantly freezing them into time-forgotten statues. Cursing the alarm, he looks at her, his eyes asking yes or no, but the answer he gets leaves a hot surge of disappointment in his mouth. As they started to get ready, she turns to him and kisses him lightly, the word 'soon' breathed into his mouth just before their lips touched. 'Soon', he replied with a smile as he pulled her into his arms once again.

Writing: Moment in Time - Mental Road Trip

I sit back on my bed, watching the stars glow above me, wondering where I went right. I reach above my head and slide a dart between my fingers and throw it at the map on my wall. Washington. I could see myself there. I would sit day after day writing, revising, editing, and re-writing, at a local coffee shop only to leave after a few hours to walk down the road to another coffee shop to watch the flow of humanity walk to and fro. At night I could head to a city and find where grunge was born, dance to songs forgotten since the late 1990's, and marvel at the waves of plaid and goatee's that come over me. I could see myself going there. Reaching up again, another dart flies towards the unknown.

Texas. I don't think I would enjoy myself there, though I only know of the stereotypes that most northeastern citizens hear. Steers, horses, country music, and all the racist fun that comes along with them. I could be wrong though, I absolutely know that. I could go to Huston and be blown away by culture, history, and a relaxed way of life that attacks me like the judgmental intruder I am. Another dart, another state, or maybe another state of mind. Florida. I gave that land my time, losing my friends and my heart all in one intake of breath. I'm no longer sure I could go back and it feel remotely the same. Sitting by the beach, watching the waves crash over the rocky coastline. Sweltering nights of liquor and romance that dies even before it has a chance to breath, like some prom night abortion. The uneasy feelings and the suspicions that you are not welcome are not things I would look forward to. I breath deeply, exhaling another part of a painful past, and reach for another dart.

Maine. I could see myself there easily. The change of seasons, picturesque landscapes, and snow filled nights seated by a roaring fireplace could fill my days. I would go down to the town and chat with the locals who have lived in this remote location for their entire lives. I could see myself settling down, making a family, living for love and writing, which is just another love of mine. I smile as I think about it and the image of the person I would spend my life loving and reach for another dart. New York. I would be able to see myself here if I wasn't already here. Living a life of quiet obscurity in a snow and poverty choked city like Buffalo. Living a life at the speed of sound in a city of lights and sounds like New York City. I could do it all and have done it all. I believe only a few things could ever keep me here; quelching my wanderlust with love and caring.

I reach for another dart, but they are all gone. Looking at the darts, I can see each of the locations vividly in my mind, the years rolling by one on top of the other. I glance at the clock and realize that I have been lost in my own little world for way too long, I almost missed my window - my chance. I reach for my phone and call my muse, my reason for the dreams I had while I watched the stars glow, and ask her when I will see her tomorrow.

Poetry: Stop Means Go (Refusal to Give Up on Love)

I refused to stop when the red lights flashed,
and I refused to stop when the signs pointed to no.
I refused to stop when you said we couldn't make it,
and I'll refuse to stop because I love you.

We had our chance to stop but the ball is rolling,
too big to stop even if we really wanted - but we don't.
We can refuse what we know and how we feel,
but we cannot refuse what's in our hearts despite our efforts.

I'm not worried because I cant refuse it,
my world is spinning as much as yours.
I'm not scared because I wont refuse it,
my love is such that it has no fears.

Let go.
Give in.
Relax.
Let love in.