He drove home, wind whipping snow around his car and tires spraying dirt-filled slush behind him, with her on his mind. He knew where she was going and he knew where he was going, but there was a part in him that wanted to go where she was going. As he weaved in and out of the traffic, his mind was full of them together, times the made him feel like this could be it. Shattering like the snowflakes on his windshield, those thoughts fade away, his mind pulling back because he knows he can't put too much of himself on something that may not happen. He presses harder on the gas petal, hoping, praying, that he can outrun his own desires. Faster he went, the faster the enjoyment of having her in his arms, the taste of her kisses, the touch of her skin, the smile on her face, fade. Faster and faster he goes, the snow whipping by until it looks like a white tunnel. His mind racing, his thoughts chaotic. No matter how fast he goes, she is still in his mind. He loves her. He slams on the breaks.
His car slides, the rear pulling free and forcing him into a full thee hundred and sixty degree spin. His fingers digging into the wheel, his mind going as fast as the car as it rotates out of control. He closes his eyes and even in this moment where death could be lurking outside of his ice covered window, there she is. Suddenly the world stops spinning, at least the world outside his mind. He opens his eyes, feeling the sweat bead up and run down his cold skin. He was still in traffic, unmoving, but he remembers everything so clearly. He relaxes and leans back, reaching for his phone. He looks down and sees a text from her. Flicking open his phone he sees a message she sent him from online. 'Though I'm here.. I love you'. He closes his phone and sets it down, moving his car a few more inches up the thruway, a smile on his face. Today he is a part-time lover, but someday he will be full-time, and giving all his love to her. He keeps smiling as the snow falls around him on this dark December night.
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