Writing: Moment in Time - Thought Process

He packed up his laptop and slide his leather jacket on, tossing the strap of his back over his head and grabs his keys. Drifting down silent roads on this night of fateful nights, he still thinks of her and what she means to him. She is the reason he is out in the chill air, parking his car at a playground he use to go to as a child, sliding his earbuds in and walking over to a picnic table. She is the reason he sits down, takes out his laptop, opens it up, and begins pouring his heart into each and every keystroke.

He starts off by apologizing, ignoring the small voice in his head that he has nothing to apologize for. Loving someone is not something you should have to apologize for, it softly yells. He pushes it to the side and continues typing, letting her know that he understands; that he can be a grown up and accept what was said. His thoughts break free from that line of thought and skitter across the memories of her, teasing him with how happy she makes him. His muscles freeze and his eyes shoot up, looking into the dark field in front of him with unseeing eyes. He sees her smiling, lying on his bed, his hands massaging her soft back, sitting in the cafe while they talked about everything and nothing all at the same time - he slams his eyes shut, trying to focus, trying to accept.

He continues typing, word after word, each one something he will not remember what he said, but he will remember the emotion behind them. His eyes glisten as he tells her he never wanted to make her cry. He signs the message "From, Me" and sends it on its way. Closing the laptop and returning it to its bag, he looks back to the field and sees the faces of his childhood playing football in the chill November nights. He smiles, reaches into his pocket and flicks his lighter, watching the flame dance between his fingers. The heat touches his arm, his neck, his chest, all the way into his heart, shocking him to find that it hasn't frozen over yet. He lights up a cigarette, stands up, and walks back to his car. He shakes his head with a smile, silently laughing to himself, telling his heart and mind that he went and did it, he's fallen in love.